The Vampire Diaries Episode (4x02) Recap - "Newsflash- we aren't Japanese."

Previously on The Vampire Diaries...

• Elena finally grew some fangs.
• Damon's balls returned.
• Stefan thought he was qualified to give drinking advice to newbie vamps o_O
• Kyler was Batman, and saved the town... or at least Caroline.
• Blondie Bex had to fend for herself.
• Stefan and Elena made cute.
• Bonnie crossed over into the dark side. 
• Bonnie &/or Kyler killed Grams ;(
• Crazy Pastor rounded up Liz & Carol, then blew up the Founder's Council.

The episode starts with Stefan and Elena canoodling in the woods. Then we flash back to earlier in the day when Damon and Stefan got in an argument over Stefan teaching Elena how to live on the Bunny Diet. Damon's point was a good one: "She can learn to control the bloodlust, if she can feel the bloodlust." Elena watches as Stefan takes down Bambi. This seems complicated since she hasn't even learned how to use her vamp speed yet. In the midst of Stefan's tutorial, the pair get horny. Unfortunately, poor Stefan will just have blue balls, because Elena ended up puking blood before he could get to the promised land. 

"I was a cheerleader. I suck at track."

There's a new hunter in town, and he's kind of a cutie. He's also kind of a bad-ass. The Scoobies need to watch out! While Tyler and Caroline are having "grief sex" upstairs, Mayor(?) Lockwood is entertaining the new hunter, Connor. Sadly, when Tyler introduces himself, Connor shakes hands with gloves laced with vervain. Oops! Once Tyler gets outed, Connor shoots Ty, but the hybrid escapes. By the time Caroline gets downstairs, both Tyler and Connor are gone. 

"I've known some of the Council since they were kids." 

"Well, the Council just tried to kill your daughter."

Sheriff(?) Forbes begins the "Damon blew up the council" train by accusing her vamp friend of doing just that. Damon makes it clear that a gas leak wouldn't have been his style. Later, Elena also accuses him of the same thing. Instead of being pissy about it, Damon decided to help Elena once she confided to him what happen in the woods by feeding her his blood. 

"But if I don't say anything... Then... what if nobody does?"

The next day, the gang attends the memorial for Pastor Young and his cult. Er, Founding Council members. The pastor's daughter April returned to Mystic Falls for the event. While Elena tried to comfort her friend she ended up getting sick and throwing up all over the basement bathroom. Since Stefan was visiting Bonnie trying to get intel on what the strange symbols on the bullets Connor used to shoot Tyler mean, Elena called Damon for help. Not only did he bring her a change of clothes, but Damon also brought Elena a Capri Sun of Blood. As the two left the basement (under the watch of Connor), Damon ended up getting caught by Stefan feeling  up comforting Elena. In the midst of their argument, big-mouth Damon revealed Elena's little indiscretion with him earlier. Oops! 

"So what brings you to Mystic Falls? Bible salesman?"

While the Scoobies began to gather for the memorial, Connor was inside the CHURCH STABBING APRIL!!! Who does that? I digress... Connor is using April as bait to see who the vamps in town are. Doesn't work. They're all hip to his plan, and team up. Even when it comes to keeping Elena from spiraling out of control. Matt was quick to offer up his neck to his former flame, while a jealous Stefan looked on. That girls sure gets around. Since he's the only known offender, Tyler gets up to make a speech so he can draw Connor's attention off the rest of the gang. It works! Connor shoots Tyler again, everyone flees, and Caroline pulls the stake out of Tyler while the Mayor calls for an ambulance. 

Since every supe could smell April's blood, the gang knows the girl's life is in danger. Since Connor is in the wind, Elena take the opportunity to save her friend. Except the bloodlust is too strong. Luckily, Caroline catches Elena before she can attack the wounded girl. After calming Elena down, Caroline teachers the baby vamp how to use compulsion on April. That works too! The Scoobies are now 2-2. Things are really looking up for them. If you forget about the gazillion friends and loved ones who've died...

"You're in hell which means I'm in hell."

While Connor is in his trailer reading his stolen letter the pastor wrote to April, Stefan is teaching Elena to become an alcoholic. Bourbon is an appetite suppressant. I love how she screws up her face like bourbon is nasty. Wasn't she drinking Damon's bourbon at her 18th birthday party? *head scratcher*

Anywho... after teaching his lady love the benefits of booze, Stefan begins to get all mopey about her vamp infidelity. Whatev! Like she was supposed to know that feeding on another vamp in the ladies restroom while you rub on each other was a form of vamp sex. Stefan really needs to make a 'Do's and Don't" list. Just saying.

"Japanese lanterns are for letting go of the past. Well, newsflash: we aren't Japanese."

After Elena breaks down, and manipulates tells Stefan, "I feel like I've been crying ever since my parents died. Life: is like a never ending funeral," he calls a Scooby meeting. The crew assembles, and Stefan declares they all need to grieve for their loved ones. Since a gang of folks have dies in the past year, they've never had the opportunity to adequately do that. He's right. These folks can't even have a memorial service without some yahoo shooting it up. The each take turns lighting a lantern in the name of someone they've lost. Stefan started by listing everyone close to him that Damon has killed, and Jeremy reminds everyone that he's lost the most. Of course Elena had to add the whole town to her list. Show off! While they all shared, Damon just rolled his eyes, hopped in his car and drove off. Right to Alaric's grave.

Tumblr fail stand in pic

Damon didn't want to light a lantern, but remember his friend by hanging with him the way he would if Alaric was still alive. With a bottle of bourbon. I thought the lantern scene was worth a slew of tears, but this scene brought the ugly tears. As Damon poured out his heart in typical Damon fashion, the ghost of Alaric looked on. Even though Damon's sentiments weren't as heartfelt as the others', they were no less touching. Side note: You could tell that Damon had probably been spending loads of time at Alaric's grave by all the old candle wax on Alaric's tombstone from previous visits.

This episode really knocked it out of the park. You could see the new paths each character is now on, and the new danger they will face this season. Though Connor is a hunter, he's not a good guy. In fact, based on Pastor Young's letter to April, and next week's promo, I believe he may be the 'New Evil,' the pastor was warning his daughter about. Last week, many fans were wondering what happened to Jaime. I loved how the show brought him up by letting us know that he and Bonnie are still an item, though she hasn't been seeing him since Grams died again. The other thing that struck me as foreshadowing was Damon's comment to Elena that she may be rejecting the transition since she is a doppelganger. I guess that this season will probably end up being about saving Elena again, even though she's now a vampire who should be able to take care of herself. I hope not.

Next week on The Vampire Diaries, Connor will try to train Jeremy. Damon will try to kill Connor. Matt will get choked out. Oy! Tune in next Thursday for episode 4x03, "The Rager."